As a counselor, one of the most common problems I hear is “He made me angry, she upset me, etc.” The truth is, you make yourself angry, or you upset yourself. Nobody else has the power over your brain to make you feel any way at all. When someone disappoints you, or doesn’t follow your (internal, unspoken) rules, then you make yourself upset. You feel that they violated you or disrespected you by not doing what they “should” do. You then let them into your head, and invite them to stay there like an unwelcome guest. You provide free rent in your head by allowing others to control your emotions.

Take control by first changing your vocabulary. Instead of saying “he made me angry. Tell yourself. I am angry at what he did. Understand that YOU CHOOSE to be angry, upset, irritated, depressed, anxious etc. You also choose to feel happy, joyful, caring, loving etc. The power of your feelings and emotions is within you. Don’t give it away.

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