Now that you have an understanding of how an “I message” works, and the two parts, identifying your feelings and giving a specific statement, it’s time to start practicing with other people. You may also discuss your action or behavior, but don’t blame the other person for your actions or thoughts. Here are a few examples. Remember, this isn’t meant to identify your feelings, but rather is meant to be talking to someone else.

I feel _______Upset__________ when___ I come home and find a sink full of dishes. __
I feel ________Proud of you_____when You bring home A’s on your report card.
I feel _____Scared________________ when You came home late and didn’t call me. I chose to stay up late and wait for you.
I feel ____________Frustrated_____________________________ when _I want to get to the party on time, but it was more important to me to go with you, so I chose to wait for you. I would prefer to have left earlier, but the choice was mine.

I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________

I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
I feel __________________________________________ when _______________________________________________________________________
Now that you have practiced on paper. It’s time to practice with your family, friends, and acquaintances. You may want to choose a friend, family member, or your counselor to discuss what this experience was like for you. Many people feel awkward when they first start communicating in this way, but like anything else new, it takes practice to get comfortable with. Remember, “I messages” aren’t a technique to manipulate people to do things that you want, but rather, they are an improved way for you to communicate with others.

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