Many people find it much easier to minimize or deny their behavior than to look at themselves honestly. You know you are doing this if you use the words “only, but, or just.” “Sure I drank until I passed out, BUT it was New Years.” “I ONLY used a little cocaine.” “I JUST had one 12-pack. I don’t know why you are making such a big deal about my driving home.” “JUST one piece of cake won’t hurt my diet, I can start again tomorrow.” “I ONLY want to enjoy myself this once.” “It won’t hurt to gamble one more time, I JUST want to win back my losses” “Sex with a stranger won’t hurt, it’s ONLYone time. I won’t catch AIDS” Watch out when you start thinking “I don’t really have a problem.” “There’s no reason for me to continue contact with my support people” or “Just one won’t hurt.” Such thinking is often the first step to a planned relapse, and all relapses are planned. I don’t use the word “slip” unless I’m talking about someone falling on a banana peal. That’s a slip. Returning to your addiction or dysfunctional behavior is a “planned relapse.” You won’t relapse unless you set that as one of your goals, and begin working on achieving that goal by cutting ties with healthy people and activities. Your relapse begins when you start seeking out activities and people (people, places and things) that will lead you back into your dysfunctional or addictive behaviors.
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
William J. H. Boetcker
Set your goals and resolutions with care, for whatever you plan is likely to happen. Chose your company well, for they are the model for your future. Engage in activities that lead to a healthy life. Have a very happy New Year, and I hope this book helps you stay on your path to recovery.