Additional words that people use to fight include Always, Never and Why.
Always and never are probably untrue, but they are attacking, especially when preceded with “YOU.”
Example: You always come home late. You never come home on time. You are setting up a fight with these words.
It’s probably not true that your partner is ALWAYS late, but this is a great way to start an argument.
How about trying using an I message — I worry that you might have gotten into an accident when you come home late from work. Please call me if you’re running late so I won’t be worried.
WHY – Here is another major attack word. Why did you come home late? Why is dinner cold? Why are you wearing those clothes. Again, express yourself by talking about what you are thinking and feeling. Rather than asking why. Try saying:
You are home later than I expected. Please tell me about it. Now that you have asked – listen to the answer. Spend more time really listening, and less time trying to figure out what you want to say next.