ROADBLOCKS: (Identified by Dr. Samuel Yochelson and Dr. Stanton E. Samenow)
Silence or Refusal to Participate
Rather than facing the problem and discussing it, use of this roadblock prevents effective communication. A person using this roadblock is showing all the maturity of a teenager who locks himself in his room. Avoiding unpleasantness by refusing to discuss a problem doesn’t make it go away.
Points Out Other’s Faults
Rather than being willing to look inward, the person pointing out others faults is attempting to focus away from himself and onto the other person. By attacking others, you not only refuse to take responsibility for yourself, but attacking others harms relationships. You would quickly begin avoiding and become emotionally closed to a person who attacked you rather than allowed an open discussion. Putting the focus on other’s faults also distracts the conversation from the real issue.
Uses Anger as a Weapon to Control Others
Often this isn’t real anger, but a control tactic. When someone becomes angry, others tend to give-in to their demands, or try to give them what they want to avoid facing their angry behavior. Even if acting angry gets you your way in the short-run, the long-term consequences of impaired relationships and alienating other people makes it a poor choice to use. Learning to control your emotional outbursts and to communicate well will earn you the respect that demanding and anger never will.