ROADBLOCKS (Addiction ideas by Dr. Samuel Yochelson and Dr. Stanton E. Samenow)
Being Deliberately Vague
This is one way that people lie without saying anything false. It’s common in teenagers. When their parents ask them where they went, they answer “out” and what did you do? “Nothing.” Being deliberately vague is a way of failing to be honest, and also is used to cover-up the truth.
Telling Others What They Want to Hear, and Not the Whole Truth
Here is another form of lying. Often people will ask you if you are still drinking or using and you tell them no, I haven’t drank all week, when you are drinking on the weekends. Lying in this manner, as with all the lies being discussed in these roadblocks, isn’t limited to just substance abuse. The child who tells his parents he is doing well in school when he has been skipping classes or is failing, is telling his parents what they want to hear, not what is true.
Omitting Facts, Distorting Truth, and Revealing Only What Pleases oneself.
Half-truths that distort the truth are still lies. This is like the child who ran an errand for his mother, but chose not to tell her that he had stopped at the candy store on the way home. He may feel that he got away with something, but others sense when you are lying, and you will lose their trust and respect.
Agreeing without Commitment
When you say yes, or agree to do something that you don’t intend to do, you are lying. This hurts others because they are depending on you to get something done, and then the job remains undone or is delayed. You are also hurt as you will lose trust with people who are going to consider you untrustworthy and undependable. Again, as with all these forms of lying, you will lose trust and respect as you develop a reputation as being a liar. You aren’t fooling anybody but yourself in the long-run.
Sophocles (c. 496 B.C.–406 B.C.)
A lie never lives to be old.
Acrisius. Frag. 59.